weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My life is pants optional.
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