Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
