I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
