Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
