y did u give ur computer a hand job?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
my liver is dry heaving
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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