he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
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