Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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