I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
