Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
