Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
