Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
