Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
