She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I am available for nakedness
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
