i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
