I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
