my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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