i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
