I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
