Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
