I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
