dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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