I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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