You really coming over, don't trick.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
