I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
