There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
