yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
whose ass print is on the piano?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
