Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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