if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
