it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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