Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Need sex. Gaining weight.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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