is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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