I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
