i think my tv is drunk
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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