Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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