You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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