can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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