last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
