I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
