yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
