sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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