Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
