Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
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