My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The feeling are messing with the penis
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
