I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
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