And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
