Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Drake has all the answers
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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