Her vagina should come with caution tape.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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