I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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