He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
