she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
