the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
