Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
